Sad news to share...

I took our beloved 13 yr old dog Shelby to the vet yesterday for an exam dur to a nagging, worsening cough.  The chest x-rays shows she has a malignant tumor on her lung.  I went alone to the vet with her and was relatively calm for the diagnosis but a few tears welled up in my eyes as the Dr. told me the news.  Meanwhile, Shelby was walking around, looking at me wagging her tail, oblivious to the terrible news.  I broke down when the Dr. left the room and Shelby was taken away to get her nails clipped.  I talked briefly with a few of the receptionists there, one of the gals Brittany knows all our pets.  She was sad.  I came home and had to break the news to my DMIL - she just hugged me and we both cried.  I waited all day to hear from John (busy day at work) when he finally called on his way home.  He wanted to hear the news - it was so hard to say.  I cried all day, on and off and ended up with a nagging headache.  I tried to take my mind off of it for a while and read Eclipse (Twilight Series) and took a great nap.  Then, I did what I usually do when I'm upset - I cleaned the house.  I only got as far as the kitchen though, but the floor got swept and mopped (it was long overdue) and I baked for the neighbors. 

When John finally got home, we spent some time being sad and then took Shelby for a small outing to deliver our goodies to the neighbors.  It was good to have a little visit.  My DMIL was so sweet, she went out to run a few errands and snuck my short grocery list and bought the items on it as well as some 'comfort' food for us which was so thoughtful.  In addition to that, she treated us to Chinese delivery so I didn't have to cook.  Shelby was sent home with some cough suppresants which have been controlling her coughing, we all got a pretty good night's sleep and I was able to get up in the middle of the night to give her pill when it was time - her coughing episodes are usually rougher during the night. 

It seems surreal; but I am well aware that animals, just like people, do not live forever.  It's just hard to stomach when someone (regardless of the species) is suffering, although when you look at the video I took of her this morning, you might not guess she has a terminal illness.  It's my intention to cherish the remaining time we have with her, as undetermined as it is, according to Dr. Rafferty.  What I am nost sad about, is that she will not likely move out to our property with us when we have the house built, so I know that moving day will be filled with mixed emotions and I need to prepare myself for it.  Shelby has truly been the most sweet, even tempered, mild mannered precious part of our family and I'm not quite ready for her not following us around the house all day. In fact, as I write this, she put her head up and looked at me with her sweet, loving eyes.  It just breaks my heart to think of the days I will not have that.